I find that those who suffer from being too self conscious are trapped in that way of thinking, and don’t realise that it’s easier than they think to shift out of it into self confidence.
I wish I could let them know that their lives could be so different and they don’t need to live in anxiety about speaking up.
I work with people who want to make changes to live a life they love, and who want to improve their communication skills and ability to express themselves verbally, creatively, emotionally and physically. I specialise in relationships, self esteem, EQ, overcoming self consciousness, handling conflict and fear of confrontation.
I’ve been there in the past: labeled shy and self conscious. I used to blush so much that, for example, I would only approach my professor after class, and she would be visibly uncomfortable as I gushed out my question, red in the face. I was reserved in groups, and the most common question I was asked was “Why are you so quiet and shy?”
I feared conflict so much that I would not share my views or ask for what I needed for fear of what others would think and say about me. I outsourced any speaking that was needed, like welcome speeches at the big charity events I organized.
I was so out of balance because I focused more on other people’s needs and helping them that I neglected myself and my own work and deadlines. The turning point for me was some serious health challenges that lead me to finding the useful ideas and tools from the fields of coaching, the cognitive behavioural sciences, positive psychology and neuro-psychology, and consciousness evolution.
I changed and I am still growing and learning - in terms of speaking up more and adding value to the world. I have now done talks in front of hundreds of people. I’ve been interviewed on radio and TV, and even hosted a short series programme on Summit TV. I’ve been hosting my own internet TV shows for years, and I’ve chaired board meetings without blushing – actually, I haven’t blushed like I used to at university for years now!
I thrive on feedback and don’t fear conflict – if anything I’m more skilled at confrontation than most, and see it as useful and a necessary part of life and relationships. My health has improved significantly and I experience more quality relationships and am equally ok with being alone.
So when I say I know what it’s like living with negative self consciousness, and that it can be changed and overcome, I am speaking from experience as a living example, and from coaching clients through these challenges for over a decade now.
I completed my BSc(hons) in Psychology degree at WITS University, and then I spent some time overseas where I worked and traveled in Europe. Upon my return to South Africa, I joined bidorbuy.com and set up the training and operations for the company in South Africa and worldwide. In 2002, I worked as a Coach for Nandos, after which I helped expand Omega Cycling while studying coaching further. I started my own coaching practice, Inner Coaching, at the end of 2004. I’ve worked with hundreds of clients over the last decade, and many have shared their experience in these testimonials.
My own challenges with communicating led me to specialize in this skill, and develop training and coaching programmes to help individuals develop their ability to express themselves, and their potentials.
More about Inner Coaching
I know what beliefs and filters (frames of mind or mindsets) and thinking styles lead to self consciousness and hinder our communication. I am skilled at identifying them in my clients and helping them to change them to more beneficial and useful ways of thinking that then unlock self confidence and improve their communication ability.
I’ve found though that the challenge of being overly self conscious holds back those who I can assist from actually engaging with the help they so desperately want. Thus I am putting my course online, to help them overcome the blocks holding them back from seeking further assistance, to unlock themselves and become all that they know they can and want to be! From the ebook “Consciously Shine” and the follow-up courses (launching soon), they will be able to work through some blocks that will help them become more confident to reach out more. I also offer private coaching via skype, or face-to-face in Johannesburg, and also mastermind type Circles for groups.
"Consciously Shine provides a useful starting point for anyone struggling with self consciousness. For those who feel like they are often under a spotlight or being judged by others, it's a helpful resource in understanding the cognitive biases that may be at play, and how to begin to turn self consciousness into a more beneficial and positive self awareness." - Tamara Oberholster
You can read more about me, my background, philosophy and the areas I specialise in, by following these links:
Subjects I can talk on include:
My clients include individuals from the corporate and private sectors, ranging from students to CEO’s, stay-at-home-Mom’s to entrepreneurs, and organizations like DBSA, Standard Bank, Legal Aid Board, Uniglobe Travel, EMC, Edcon, DHA, GIBS, GROW, The Peer Group, Songhai Corporate Travel.
Articles and publications that I have been featured in or talked about in include:
Here are some images, if you want others, contact me.
Consciously Shine - ebook
High res version - click here
I am available for interviews if you feel too that your followers would gain value from knowing more about how to change self consciousness – if they suffer from it or to help someone they know who does.
(c) +27837302979 | (e) firstname.lastname@example.org | (twitter) @Telana
Till then, be real!